It’s raining, I mean REALLY raining here in Colorado. They’re calling this “a storm of Biblical proportions.” I don’t know exactly what that means, but an ark sure would come in handy right about now. Hours have turned into days of nonstop downpour, and there’s no end in sight. We’ve spent the day installing extra pumps and vacuuming out water from our basement. So. Much. Water. It’s invading from every angle, and to be honest, my whole life feels like this storm at the moment. I’m soaked to the bone, drowning in a downpour of trials.
Have you been here before? Where it feels like one struggle after the next? A death, a crisis at home, illness, relationship conflicts, more crises, broken down cars, unexpected bills, struggling loved ones…you name it, it’s probably happened this past month. And at some point I felt myself succumbing not only to doubt and fear, but to the beginnings of anger. Know what I mean? Like, “Seriously, why in the #%&@ is all of this happening right now?!?” I could just smell bitterness and hopelessness lurking around the corner (and truth be told, they happen to smell just like burned salmon & brussel sprouts).
Pray tel, my dear sweet quilting goddess, why the downer post? Don’t you have a new quilt top you could blog about? I share about this struggle with you because I thought maybe some of you could relate. Maybe you’re going through a major storm right now and are just about ready to kick your galoshes to the curb and scream. Maybe sewing has helped you cope, or maybe your mountain of misery has kept you from enjoying the hobby you love. I know exactly what that feels like, and girl, I’m right there with ya.
It’s a funny thing, though, how perspective makes all the difference in the world. It wasn’t until this past weekend, in church of all places (I know, shocking), that clarity came a knocking. As I sat in that pew (ok fine, it was a folding chair…whatever), weighted down and exhausted from carrying these burdens, I listened to a message that I know was meant just for me.
“Why Worry?” was the name of the series, and the pastor spoke not only of enduring and persevering through hard times, but- get this- of actually finding joy in them. What?? Joy?! Like, yay, more crap! God, can I PRETTY PLEASE have a car wreck, an IRS audit, and get laid off this month?! (Ok, none of those things actually happened to me, but you get the idea). Seriously though, this concept did suddenly click for me- my trials are not killing me, they’re shaping me.
Sounds cliche, and certainly not quilt bloggy, but it’s a truth that has shone over me like warm sun this week. I mustn’t be surprised when major struggles land on my doorstep- I should expect them. It’s not IF they’ll happen, it’s when. And the joy? I can live joyfully knowing that my character is being honed through these fires, and that I might just come out of them a stronger and wiser woman- more like the woman I wish I could be.
So where to now? Back to joy. Back to faith. Back to stitching. Back to singing!